After watching the video, i feel that there is a need for myself to go through a period of self examination as well, given that the first semester is coming to an end and almost half a year has past.
This half a year hasn't been really a good one for me. I went through ups and downs (more downs obviously) , my grades are not satisfying, this half a year in dance was also quite difficult, and there are lots of small things which i feel that could have been done better. There are many issues, many events, many things in my head that cause me to be distracted from my studies and at the same time, have a huge amount of frustration inside me. At many occasions, i lack the self belief, the motivation, the perserverance, the sharpness and concentration to do things.
I am also living a very unhealthy life, sleeping late, waking up early. The black circles i have around my eyes really make me hate looking into the mirror. The lack of sleep is also affecting my memory. I can feel the difficulty in remembering things now, i tend to forget a lot of things very easily.
I really feel that this half a year has changed me a lot. I am not the Jun Weng i used to be. The Jun Weng that has a lot of self belief, the Jun Weng that has high self esteem, the Jun Weng that is clear of what he's doing. For example, in the past few years, coming to my niche areas like chinese, history, china studies or even maths i would be very sure of myself, i would be very confident. However this year, after suffering a few setbacks i realise that i am beginning to doubt my capabilities, i begin to doubt my answers. No matter what i do, i feel the need to double check. Especially when doing maths and physics, i am struggling to keep up with the pace of the others.
Perhaps, this year, i moved house, i moved to a new school site, i moved to an unfamiliar environment. Now, i live further from my relatives, my close primary school friends, my tuition mates and so on. All this factors may have contributed to my failure for this half a year but to me, all this are nothing but excuses. For me, in life, in order to be successful, we really must be able to face all sorts of situations, environments and challenges.
Therefore i really feel the need to improve, to pull myself out of the bad state i am in. Due to my hectic life i really need to manage my time better so that i won't have to always burn midnight oil. I need to be mentally stronger when facing challenges. I also need to put in more effort on Maths and physics though most of the time i really don see the point in learning them.
Arsenal's policies are aiming for long term success, to ensure that the club can be successful for the next 5years, 10 years or even 20 years. Their self sustainable model of running the club ensures that Arsenal will be financially stable for years to come. Though we cannot see the fruits of their labour yet but i am sure that they are on the right path.
The same theory works for us. We should work for the future, think further, look further. In chinese we call it 高瞻远瞩。I feel that many of us just focus on the result at present, without considering about what may happen in future. We should focus on our aims and targets and not be too affected by the results of other things. That's why i really admire Desmond's drama teacher. He wasn't really concern about his results in school. He drop out of school to focus on his dreams and aims, that's why he is successful now.
For me, i am going to learn from Arsenal's policy to focus on long term success. So long as i tried my best, even if i do not do well in physics and maths i am not going to brood over it for long. Instead i am going to focus on my niche areas, my interests and my long term targets.
I guess there are also positives to take from the past six months. I feel that i am more mature compared to last year after going through so much. I also benefited a lot from OBS-learnt a lot of life skills that I cannot be exposed to in school, and discover some of my strengths. I also managed to find out a lot of my weaknesses as a leader of dance society and lastly i managed to make myself love piano and in fact use it to distress.
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Last thurs watched iron man 2. The graphics and high tech stuff were quite impressive however i felt that overall it still lose out to IP MAN 2. The storyline was quite disappointing.
Friday, cca was much better, i felt that our mass dance did improved though it is still far from sulaoshi's expectations. We know there is still much room for improvement, hope the dancers will continue to work hard and prove that they are capable of producing results.
Yesterday was a close shave for me. On my way back from JP i left my wallet on 240 bus. My ez link card, ic, 40 plus bucks and many other cards were inside the wallet. Luckily i went to the bus stop opposite my house to wait for the 240 to return since i regconize the driver. After waiting for half an hour the bus returned and a 好心人士 had found my wallet and passed it to the driver. 谢天谢地，我失而复得. Really grateful to the person that found my wallet.......He/She saved my parents and I a lot of trouble. Or else i would have to go to the police station to report loss, go to bus interchange report loss and spend a few hundred bucks to get a new ic, new ezlink card bla bla bla.......
Today spent most of the time practising piano.....gotta go do some work le nitez :D:D
Tmr getting back physics result during first period....getting back translation result during last period.......GG..... T.T
you will always be in my heart............
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