Monday, October 18, 2010

poly or jc?

haix this few days get back results thinking of subject combination....had lots of discussions with my friends...feeling really confused....

yesterday had a discussion with a primary school fren who is preparing for o levels. he is forced to take triple science in secondary school when he is actually very interested in humanities and china studies. Now he is aiming to join ngee ann poly even if he scores well enough to be able to enter a jc. He is aiming for their diploma course in chinese studies. After i looked at the course i suddenly feel the urge to pick it up too. In poly they can focus on their interests and areas that they are passionate about. The three year course offered in poly is really rich and it offers students one year of immersion program in china. http://www.np.edu.sg/hms/courses/CHS/Pages/chs_en.aspx

Whereas in JC we have to take contrasting subject -.- we are forced to take maths......haix i am jealous that in poly they don have to worry about their weak subjects they can focus on wad they wan. FOCUS! whereas for us? we have to worry for maths, worry for the contrasting subject....why must we make ourselves so 辛苦??The thing i like most about poly is that more lifeskills are taught! For science students yes jc would be better but for arts and humanities students i feel that poly would be better...more experience and practical stuff there..

had a discussion with my mother and she wasn happy about my idea about joining poly....haix its all about money...wad diploma poly come out cannot earn as much as jc students..for me maybe cos i haven experienced life as a working adult, but 说心里话 being able to study wad i am interested and passionate about is wad i am more concerned about. Not that i think that money is not impt, but its not my priority! i don wan to do smth that i don like jus in order to gain high salary, or have a higher status....

haix lots of ppl regret taking up IP program now i finally understand their feelings....tio scam 的感觉...shall wait till all my eoy results are out. This is a really important decision to make!

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

重生

eoys ended on monday, other than physics and maths the rest were pretty managable :) got back maths paper 1 today and tio shock...i managed to do better than i expected. Hmm maybe 真的是皇天不负苦心人吧. i really put in a lot of effort to prepare and practice maths, glad not to disappoint my mum and ms choo.
Today during history lesson ms teo shared with us about how we should not take our foot off the gas and should continue to read widely in this highly competitive world. I fully agree with wad she shared. There are so many things happening around the world everyday, we should read widely to improve our knowledge. It will not only help us with gp, it will also improve our intellectual ability. Like what ms teo shared, we should reflect and think about these issues cos it might affect us. Haha she say we whole day only know how to gossip about which girl pretty, which boy handsome, which kpop band very hot, which guy very hot LOL, and these don really benefit us much. We can still discuss abt them but on the other hand we should spend more time on reading newspapers and coming back to "reality". Gossiping won help us to get our As, it won help us to earn scholarships, it won help us to pass GP, or help us to get pass interviews. Hmm i am determined to read more widely!!!
During assembly today got back my analysis on the type of personality i am. HAHA i am ESFJ !! E stands for extravert. S stands for Sensing, F stands for feeling and J stands for judgement. The analysis states that ESFJs are warm, sympathetic, helpful, personable, cooperative, and tactful. ESFJ type of people at their best like to organise people and situations and then work with others to complete tasks accurately and on time. They are conscientious and loyal, following through even in small matters, and they want others to be the same. They value security and stability. Sociable and outgoing, ESFJs enjoy celebrations and traditions and bring a very personal caring to the workplace and home. They want to be appreciated for themselves and for what they give to others.
Haha not i praise myself la but i sincerely think that this indicator is 80% accurate on describing my personality :) Do u guys agree? LOL
Hmm class outing yesterday was A SUCCESS!! Glad that 4B can finally have a successful class outing after being 2 years of classmates. I feel that we are more bonded than b4 and we might be even having a class chalet soon!! :D Have some simple thoughts on the bbq that i would like to share. At the start we had lots of problem trying to start the fire...many of us were not really able to start the fire, we did not have the knowledge and skills regarding all these. Actually i feel very ashamed lo. We go to sch to build up our intellectual skills, learn science, maths and so on but real life skills like simple cooking, washing clothes, ironing, setting up fire we don really have them. At home we either rely on our maid, or our parents to do these house work for us so most kids nowadays in Singapore really lack exposure to these and i have to admit i am one of them. This brings me back to the issue on education. What is education? Recently while preparing for lang arts essay i found a definition and it states that education is the process of imparting general knowledge and to prepare one for mature life. However in my opinion education nowadays focus too much on the acadamic side. The school, our parents care more about our result than any other thing. Our main objective of education now is just for the cert, for the report cards for the good grades. And all these simple lifeskills are not really taught to us (have but very little) and it is very worrying. How can we grow up and get ready for mature life when we cannot cook for ourselves, cannot wash our own clothing, can not take care of our own needs and rely on others to do so? People now think that oh so long as i have money nothing is impossible, i can use money to buy food outside, i can employ maids to do my housework, to wash my clothing, to clean up my room. I don have to necessarily do these on my own. Haix but if we really think about it, all these will bring about serious consequences. We will become reliant on others, we cannot be independent. It cannot be guaranteed that these type of ppl can grow up to be a person with good character, cause they will most likely be very lazy ppl who don bother to do things on their own. Starting from now onwards i am determined to pick up more life skills from my parents, or even my maid. Things like ironing my own clothing, helping out in the kitchen with cooking, baking ( my father is a GREAT BAKER XD ) and tidying up my own room. Hehe.
Bicultural trip also helps us a lot in imparting us with essential life skills that's why i love bicult trips so much. Yay end of year trip is in one month's time!! Dam excited. Going to Chengdu, Chongqing and guangzhou. We will be going to 九寨沟! From young i have heard a lot of ppl saying how beautiful it is, so i am really excited about visiting that place.

立化精神:立德立功,化愚化顽。团结,服从,认真,是人生的一种美德。应具有舍己为群的精神,才能符合团体生活,并从舞蹈中学会坚持。
Few weeks ago if you asked me i would never have imagined that i would leave dance. The warmth that can be felt from ppl, teachers, in this cca is smth that for me can never be replaced in another cca. Haix but considering the fact that my grade 8 piano exam is in march or april next year i really have to make a choice, to make a very tough decision. The grade 8 piano exam really cost a bomb. It is about 400 sing dollars and i cannot afford to flunk it. Moreover, i have already delayed this exam due to my sch and cca commitments for the past few years. The syllabus would be changing after the exam period next march which means that if i don't take the piano exam next year, all my effort spent on practising my exam pieces, and preparing for the exam would be gone. That would be very hard on my piano teacher, myself and my parents considering the large amount of fees they had to pay for my piano lessons and books. Haix so in the end after considering for long periods of time, i decided to leave dance. It was a hard decision to make but i have to move on :( I really miss the instructors and dancers! Thank you so much! I really enjoyed the past few years in the cca, ( other than some unhappy events and moments that occured during the process which i don wish to elaborate on). The chance to take part in various performances, syf, and so on gave me valuable experiences. It really made become a better person, a stronger person. It also gave me the chance to know you guys, to know her...嗨,天下没有不散的宴席,该放下的还是得放下....
Now i have joined bowling. Since young i have been playing bowling regularly, and i like this sport, so i hope i will be able to excel in this cca and perform to my capabilities. I think it will be less stressful for me since i have quite a lot of experience in this sport. Haha glad that jiwei is also joining bowling :D :D
Just came back from gym and a night swim. Feel very refreshed haha now i am adapting to a new lifestyle. I want to become more healthy, sleep early wake up early. I am aiming to go to gym everyday and if the weather permits, i also want to swim everyday :D
This is all i have to post at the moment, nitez ppl!


我想慢慢把你淡忘,这样对你,对我才是最好的..

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Last post until EOYS are over.

Shall let my blog hibernate for a month. eoys are a month away i have decided not to use my com for a month other than for writing reports. During this period i am determined to concentrate on my studies and let myself have plenty of rest. This few days i have adopted a different way of spending my time. The first thing i do when i reach home i sleep. Then i wake up at like 1am, fill my stomache, then get to work. I find it a very efficient way of spending my time. This allows me t0 ensure that i have at least 6hrs of sleep and after i wake up i will feel charged and ready to start mugging and doing my work. At the same time i won have problems waking up in the morning, and i can go to school early to discuss some work with my friends and do some exercise either with my ccamates or at home b4 leaving for school. 

Yesterday had year 5 subject combination briefing. Hmm wan take 4 H2s need gpa of 3.2. My first semester gpa was 3.2 not very safe so i must ensure that this term and eoys i can maintain and do even better. Heard from a lot of teachers that KI (knowledge and inquiry) is much much harder than GP. A lot of ppl are already struggling with GP and i think my english standard is really poor so i guess most likely i will aim for HISTORY/CHINA STUDIES IN CHINESE/MATHS/ECONOMICS. After eoys will have to really do some hw on the subjects and the courses offered in universities before deciding my subject combination. Like many teachers have said, this is a really important decision to make which will affect our future. So i really take it very seriously. All the teachers we have spoken to advised us to follow our interest. I strongly agree. Who says physics chem maths econs is the most popular combination in RV means we must follow suit and take that combination? Who says only take sciences then can get jobs or have a future? Who say take humanities or arts stream very dangerous, no future! Like what Huanglaoshi said a lot of students really have the wrong mindset! Doesn't mean a lot of people choose to take science or a particular combination means its the best route for us to take. Nowadays in order to be special, to be different from others, we should pick subjects or pick a route that nobody or very little people want to take. This will allow us to have more opportunities compared to the others in this highly competitive world. And most importantly we should follow our interest. Yes its impt to look far, to think for our future. However if we pick subjects just in order to ensure we can get a job, or have a future and do not consider our interests, it might result in worser consequences. We might end up struggling with the subject or even hating the subject after a few months. This would result in even worser consequences and that is failing or doing badly in that subject. Thus i strongly urge all who are going to be choosing subjects for nxt year to think carefully. Don make a wrong decision and regret for the rest of your life! 别一失足成千古恨!

Ok i gonna sleep le BYE PPL JIAYOUS TO ALL TAKING O LEVELS AND EOYS!! SHAll be back soon, don miss me XD.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Thank you Ms Teo!!!

Ms teo thanks so much. Talking to you really helped me a lot :D
Lesson was as usual today. Woke up to find it raining ON A FRIDAY MORNING AGAIN! :( PE lesson could not play soccer on the field. This is the 5th time this happened in around 6 weeks. Don know why we so suay :(
Cca was awesome today. Had PT with the guys then went for the DANCE FANTASIA syf concert. All the performances were of very high standard! We are really not in the same level as them. Hmm we need to work harder. Jy dancers! Especially year two dancers! Congrats on recieving the chance to dance acceleration :D You all can do it :D
This weekend have so much hw and things to do argh!!!!

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Thank you Liheng!

Thank you liheng! For reminding me that "sometimes it is like tat la....u cant get everyone's understanding and appreciation". Haix was really hurt. I spent a lot of effort on writing a long letter on facebook for my p5 cousin. I gave him some really sincere comments hoping that he will take it to heart, hoping that he will benefit from it. In the end he told me to stop writing stupid comments on his wall.....Maybe i shldn have wrote the word girlrome( his nickname) on his wall. He told me that his friends are starting to call him by this nickname. Nevertheless i am still angry at him for deleting my post. I really 是一片好意咯。Nvm....

Today got interviewed by Yun Nan press...... they came my house to interview my parents as well as to learn more about our singapore education system, and our bicultural program.

Tmr must wake up early go sch again ARGH!! nitez ppl.

Friday, August 13, 2010

AYLC

hmm...this few days busy with asian young leaders convention. I am in the press committee, so my job is to go around and take pictures of people, make video and write article. Yesterday i was the emcee for the opening ceremony. I would say of the few emcee jobs i have taken up, yesterday was the most successful one :D Thank you Wei lin for being such an awesome partner ;) Thank you Miss Yim and Zhang Mei Li laoshi for your guidance and support :D
Today slept till 10 plus then wake up read bks, play piano before going to school. Don know why after sleeping for 7 hours i still so tired.....In the afternoon went around the school take pictures of aylc participants with Bella. Took quite a lot of unglam pictures and pictures of sian faces...
One problem i discovered for this AYLC is that due to the many different nationalities of the participants they all speak different languages so there are some communication breakdown between the participants themselves and between the facils and participants. So quite a lot of participants were like left out or not really getting themselves involve in the activities. I think the facils should speak to them in at least chinese and english since a large number of the participants are from China.
Haix..my weekend is gone. Have to go school for the next few days. After AYLC, i will have a stack of homework and a few tests and projects to clear. Wish myself gd luck man.....

Friday, August 6, 2010

Haix......

wow i haven been posting for quite some time le. hmm this two weeks a lot had happened. haha everyday when i log in msn tok to desmond first word is "haix". i have comments for everything i have thoughts on everything but lately i have became speechless. Not that i have nothing to say but i realise i already don feel like commenting. I have lost the motivation to. Is it because i have lost faith in everything? Is it because i have lost faith in the world? Perhaps...I have seen a lot of things that made me 心灰意冷. The disasters and conflict happening all over the world are just increasing and becoming worser day by day. After hearing huanglaoshi sharing about her experiences in china this few weeks i have no doubt about that. But how many of us really bother about all this environmental threats? We seem to be living in our own world. We just continue with our routine lifestyle. Wasting resources, polluting our environment and hurting the people around us.

2 weeks ago i suddenly recieved news that my aunt who visited me during June hols from America has discovered that she has gotten breast cancer...I was totally stunt. From my impression of her, she has a healthy lifestyle and she is very concious of her diet, and her health conditions. She and her husband decided to live in America in order to have quality life. They have two kids there, they have a big house there and their income is also good. But their quality life turn out to be like that. It really makes me ponder what is quality life? Can the so called luxurious quality life really bring us happiness and health? What is the best way of life? hmm i think its really hard to find out an answer for these questions. I really hope my aunty will recover from this, luckily her breast cancer still belong to the early stages. I will keep praying for her. 我阿姨得癌症这件事情真的让我感觉到生命的脆弱,和渺小。我奉劝大家开始珍惜身边的人吧。每一个人的命运都深不可测,不要等到失去他们才忏悔。

Last week i had a one to one session with my history teacher Ms Serene Teo for one hour. Talking to her is really very enjoyable. There is no pressure, no intensity, and we can really talk our hearts out. Before that i had missed a few history lessons due to some reasons which i have forgotten. However within half an hour with Ms Teo, all my concepts were clear, she taught me some really important skills on how to tackle study all sources questions. I am really grateful to her. For the remaining time i shared with her about how i am coping with my studies and life now. I also discussed with her about my nxt year subject combination. Maths, History, China studies in Chinese and Econs/ Knowledge and Inquiry. I asked Ms Teo about KI and i managed to find out that our school actually offers KI just that no one apply or rather a lot of our students don even know of this subject in our school. At first i was pretty sure i wanted Econs. However after conversing with Ms Teo about what is taught in KI, it got me very excited. KI is a much higher level of GP and the things we get to learn and analyze in this subject is lots of general knowledge. We will get to learn about religion, politics, history, social science. So its lots of current affairs and it covers a lot of areas. The method of testing is very similar to other humanities subject. Essay and Analysis. For econs though there are some humanities stuff in it but i have to be very strong in maths and i also need to be very passionate in in which i doubt so for both requirements. Haix see how lo currently if let me choose i will want to take KI but Ms Teo say need at least around 10 students then can open this course. So year 4s who are interested in KI please approach me ah :D

Last Sat after bicult talk and yishun junior college, i went to orchid country club gym and sat down at a corner with table and chairs to do homework and enjoy sometime on my own. I discover the environment there really suits me. Very little people, not noisy, no distractions. In two hours i completed an history assignment and a 报章读后感。Haha after that i gymed for 45 minutes as well. It was really a very satisfying afternoon for me :D I have decided to do that more often, if possible every week. Maybe on sundays. Now i every sunday go orchid country club with my cousin to study and gym he is preparing for his o levels as well. I also need to start to mug and prepare myself for the horrifying end of year exams......

Today was ndp concert, felt that i pretty much screwed up my emcee job....haix. Had another satisfying afternoon with Liheng, Peiyao and Zixin. Though did not manage to join them plus other yr 3 guys in the movie due to AYLC rehearsal -.- but we still had an afternoon of fun! Haha we shld play badminton and table tennis in the school hall more often! ;0 FOC somemore lol.

Long weekend YAY! shall end my post here haha some ppl say my posts always dam long.
Nitez ppl.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

a very bad start to the day...but a satisfying ending to it

got back my maths test on monday got an A2 but was very disappointed with myself for making a really careless mistake which cost me my A1. For a qn which i shld have got correct, i wrote my final ans as 216 + 1384 - 1384 = 1384 T.T!! That cost me one mark and i got 18/25 in the end. Haix such mistake i think pri sch students also won make lo. 或许真的是天意吧。Its fated i cannot get my A1 for this test....nvm i still made a huge improvment and Ms choo was happy with my result. I shall work extra hard for the nxt test and make sure i get my A1!

Today really had a bad start to my day. Seconds after i woke up i got scolded by my dad. (reason shall not be revealed) Then becos of that i was almost late for sch ( made yangyi wait for me at traffic junction vry long sry yangyi!). On my way to sch i suddenly realised i left my eom, kelly's eom and tseng wei's eom AT HOME! i am suppose to collect their work by today and submit in helaoshi's pigeon hole as it was to be graded and if nvr submit by today STRAIGHT ZERO! I was seriously dam angry with myself at that point of time. For being so careless. If i cost myself to be in trouble still nvm but if i cost my friends to be in trouble i will seriously regret it. Therefore after racial harmony activities i ran back home and collect the eoms with louis. Haha thanks louis for accompanying me XD. From sch to lakeside back and forth took around 20mins lol gd training! Nvr eat lunch went straight to open dance studio and then go for ndp meeting. Wow mr gan really has some great ideas for ndp concert haha he say he day dream a lot. This time it shall be a really fun and different ndp :D

First CIP session at jwps was a really great one i would say! WELL DONE DANCERS! :D:D i believe most of them enjoyed the cip and gained some really valuable experiences. They learnt some class room management skills and as their first time doing it i would say they did quite fine. Looking at the primary 2 kids really reminds me of my pri sch days haha today they wore ethnic costumes and looked DAM CUTE! haha some of them were wearing the same chinese outfit i wore when i was as young as them. Most of them were dam enthu and were eagerly trying to answer to our qns. Huge contrast to the present situation in RV. Always when teachers in class or during assembly ask qn, no one raise up hand to answer lol. I really wonder when these kids get to secondary school will they continue to answer qns or ask qns so enthusiastically?

After the cip i had all my energy drained. But the sense of satisfactory in me really make my day turn out to be very gd. I really saw a lot and gain a lot of valuable experiences through this cip. It boost my confidence level too. Today when i brief the p2 students in the hall I totally impromptu. LOL cost a lot of things didn went according to plan. I felt that i handled it pretty well above my expectations.

Shall go mug physics now.Hope to score an a1 for this practical test so as to pull up my physics grade. Jiayous to those who have test tmr!

Thursday, July 15, 2010

WELL DONE south africa!! Spain make history!


The world cup has ended for around 5 days but due to the loads of hw and test i had this week i did not have the time to post my thoughts abt it.

SPAIN are world champions ! i would say it wasn't a surprise looking at the huge amount of talent the spain squad has. U guys just look at the spain squad bench. Players like cesc fabregas, fernando torres, lorente, marchena have to sit on the bench and watch their teammates play. This already shows the quality of the spain squad. I would say their squad is the best in the world at the moment. They have david villa and torres who are world class players making their front line. They have the BEST MIDFIELD in the world having the likes of players like xavi, iniesta, busquets, alonso, silva, fabregas. Regarding their defence, it is evident from the small amount of goals spain had conceded. what can other teams do to break their defence when they have sergio ramos, pique, puyol and capdevila who are like 4 rocks sitting at their backline. Their last man is even one of the world's best goal keeper. His name is Iker Casillas. The guy who made the save against arjen robben in the finals. I would say this is one of the best world cup squads ever. Spain would be rmb for their smooth and fast flowing attacking football. I like them as they play a similar style of football as arsenal. Possession football. Their players have fantastic technique, which enables them to pass the ball around like it is as easy as primary school maths.

I also enjoyed this world cup because it wasn dominated by the usual teams and football stars The defending champions Italy and runner up France were kik out early in the competition. Brazil, England, Portugal and Argentina also followed their footsteps. Through this competition i saw a huge improvement in the standards of Asian football with Korea and Japan both making it to the knock out stages. I also saw many emerging young football talents with most of them coming from Germany. Germany showcast their bright future by sending an extremely young and inexperienced side to this world cup. They did not disgrace their country as they saw off australia, argentina, england and uraguay in style scoring at 4 goals in 3 of those matches and 3 goals against uraguay. Their counter-attacking football was superb and entertaining catching teams like england and argentina off guard.

Something that shocked me was that none of the premier league stars or spanish stars from europe impressed in this world cup. Players like rooney, lampard, gerrard, torres, fabregas (other than the assist in the world cup final ), van persie, drogba......all did not impress. Players like cristiano ronaldo and messi also did not make much of an impact. This shows that european countries can no longer dominate world football as south american countries and african countries are all on the rise. This will only be good for the development of world football as more stars and countries impress :D

questions to ponder for world cup :
1. should video technology be added into football after the many mistakes referees have committed in the past few seasons and this world cup? ( england goal ruled out )
2. Shld countries start to adopt policies similar to arsenal by developing and trusting their youngsters more? Recently some news reported england are discussing on whether to adopt wenger's policy regarding youngsters. As we can see through this world cup countries like Germany and Ghana who sent out a young squad were quite successful in this world cup.

*Thomas Muller from Germany gets the Golden Boot with 5 goals. He also gets the young player of the tournament.

*Diego Forlan is awarded the Golden Ball (best player) In 2006, it was Zinedine Zidane who grabbed the award.

*145 goals were scored in 64 games.

Updated FIFA rankings: Spain are number 1, Holland are second, 3. Brazil, 4. Germany, 5. Argentina, Uruguay move up ten places to 6th, 7. England, Italy drop to 11th, and France drop to 21st.

So far in the transfer window, Arsenal have brought in two new faces. 1. Marouane Chamakh (striker)- free transfer from bordeux 2. Laurent Koscielny (central defender )- transfer fee of around 10million. Wenger has stated that he will wave his magic wand again and bring in at least one more new face to add to the current defensive line. I hope it will a goal keeper with mark schwarzer( one of the best goal keepers in epl helping fulham last season to get into europa league finals ) stating his interest to come to Arsenal.
Arsenal will start their preseason friendlies this coming saturday going to barnet fc. Hope to see the two new players making their debut and chamakh to score his first goal for the club :D
Coming to the end of the week le. Had chinese test and maths test today. Both okok la but i am quite satisfied with myself having put in so much hard work this few days to prepare for the tests. So even if the results are not really gd i won feel bad :D today for c lit had to evaluate two poems. I really love one of the poems let me share it with you guys.

《 一棵开花的树 》

如何让我遇见你
  在这最美丽的时刻
  为这
  我已在佛前求了五百年
  求佛让我们结一段尘缘
  佛于是把我化做一棵树
  长在你必经的路旁
  阳光下
  慎重地开满了花
  朵朵都是我前世的盼望
  当你走近
  请你细听
  那颤抖的叶
  是我等待的热情
  而当你终于无视地走过
  在你身后落了一地的
  朋友啊
  那不是花瓣
  那是我凋零的心

这首诗当真是堪称绝妙。 它把爱情的伟大之处和现实无限的残酷表现得如鱼得水。爱情真的是让人又爱又恨之。它有时候能带给你无限的希望和力量,但它可以在一瞬间给你致命的一击,使你一蹶不振,失掉所有信心..........

Saturday, July 3, 2010

bicult trip/ syf mass display

continued from last post.

在此次的旅程中,我们也有幸去参观上海世博会,见证中国又一门盛事。虽然只有一天的时间参观,时间紧迫,而且大多数时间都花在了排队和等待。但我还是参观了十二个场馆,看到了一些精彩的表演和展览,对很多国家的文化有更深一层的了解。那一天的活动也锻炼了我的体力和耐力,让我觉得自己比以前更健壮更成熟或者说,更能吃苦。

这次的上海之旅让我感到最满意的就是我融入了上海的民间生活。我每天都有和上海的百姓交流,接触,观察他们的生活。我每天都尽量用很标准的华语与身边的朋友和当地的百姓沟通。我也在这个过程中有很深的体会。我们差不多每天都到复旦大学的步行街吃饭,买东西,尝遍那儿的美食。多亏有杨老师这个地头蛇带我们到处吃好的,给我们介绍好门路,帮我们,教我们杀价,以免被诈。你们有没有听过烧的寿司?在这次的旅途之前我可没听说过,但这次我竟然吃到这种寿司 它是一大条的,够我们吃一顿,里头的米饭量大约等于一碗饭,而里头包的东西任我们选择。寿司里头还有放甜酱 一点辣椒酱。吃起来美味可口,我们几个中四的同学一连吃了天都不厌。它的价格少过十块人民币,又省时,能让我们边购物边吃,实在方便。我们还尝了很多上海的街边小吃。以前我根本不敢吃街边小吃,认为他们不卫生,不美味,但经过这次的旅程,我突然发现我喜欢上街边小吃。我发现街边小吃并没有我想象的那么差。因此很多东西我们不能只看表面,而要找它的内在美。此次的旅程,我发现很多便宜,看似简单的东西,能给我们带来很多喜悦。比如一杯两块钱人民币的葡萄粥,还是少过三块钱人民币的扇。这些东西都不怎么昂贵,但却能给我们带来许多欢乐。

我在上海的十四天里头看到了上海温馨,美丽的一面,也看到了上海丑陋的一面。在上海,我亲自体验到当地学生的热情,当我向他们分发调查问卷,请求他们帮忙完成,他们都毫不犹豫地答应了。这使我非常感动。但同时我也看到了上海人很多不文明的举动。比如在世博会时,我看到他们随地扔垃圾,推挤,相骂,插队,大声嚷嚷等等。我也看到一些上海男性光天化日在马路边撒尿,德士司机在酒店外吵架等等。这些事情都反映上海人的文明程度还有待改善。

离开上海的那天,我满载而归,买了很多书和光碟。然而我指的不只是物质方面的满足,在精神上我也感到很充实。从这次的旅程当中,我学到了很多的生活技巧,开阔了视野,也脱离了父母的怀抱,学会独立,在这两个星期里照顾自己的各种需要。在此旅程里头的许多收获都无法从课本里头得到的,这两个星期像一场梦,我过得很轻松很愉快,但也获益匪浅。当真是行万里路,胜读万卷书,我们不能永远做井底之蛙,只待在自己的国家,或只对着课本和书。到外面的世界看看,真的会让一个人更加成熟,懂事。因为,这种感受我深有体会。

在上海机场,我喝下在这次旅程中的最后一口农夫山泉水。我细细品尝了那一口水,我要记住它的味道,我要永远记住在上海的那些美好的回忆。过了那一时刻,我不知何年何月才能又回到上海。过了那一天,我又得开始数没有农夫山泉水的日子了。

因此我期待年底的双文化之旅,也想感谢四位带队的老师,感谢他们的辛苦付出,感谢他们这两个星期对我们的呵护。若不是他们,这次的旅程根本无法圆满结束。

this few days when everybody were busy having lessons in school, we the dancers and the whole year two cohort were busy with our syf mass display rehearsals, preview and the actual performance yesterday.

Overall, I would say it was a success. It was a great and unforgettable experience for everyone.Perhaps its the last time all the year 4 dancers can put up a performance together like this. Haix really can't bear to part with them. Through this performance i also made quite a few cat high friends. They were really polite and friendly. Some of them were quite cute and handsome attracting quite a number of RV girls ;) haha. 天下没有不散的筵席, though we cannot bear to part but life has to go on. Hope we will have a chance to meet again :D

However as we carry on with life, i feel that there are some things, some points that we should ponder through this syf mass display experience.This few days, i have seen a lot, heard a lot. There are some things that keep me thinking.

Firstly, through conversations with my teacher in charge, i discover that just for that few minutes of performance out there, the school has spent large sums of money. The transportation fees this few days cost the school at least 10k plus.The food that the school provide to us also cost around that amount too. The platform that the dancers used cost 6k plus. Each costume that the dancers and sec2s wear cost 100plus dollars.Each head gear the year2s wear cost 40 dollars! When we multiply it by the number of participants that took part in this event, the amount is really huge. This makes me wonder whether it is worth it a not. Though its not my money, i can don really care so much however, i feel that its a little 奢侈. The money spent is just for that FEW MINUTES! For the past few days and just now we were still talking about what will happen to the 6k platform and the hear gears after this event? The head gears are mostly damaged and useless. After the event they are just equal to rubbish! As for the platform,they are so huge, taking up so much space, where can we leave it in the school? Will we still use it in the near future? We all doubt so! They are too huge for the stage, therefore its not possible that we will use it for our future performances. Our teacher in charge was suggesting to throw it, which means throwing away 6 thousand dollars, i mean i am less concern about the money.钱只是一种形式上的东西,它只是一个数据。 Its the resources used to built the platforms and headgears that i am more concerned and worried about.A lot of resources were used just for this event, for that few minutes, and after that most of them become rubbish, causing a lot of harm and pollution to the environment.....Is it worth it?

This few days after every meal, i witness a lot of food being thrown away, a lot of bottles of water that are drank halfway being thrown away, a lot of plastic cutlery being thrown away. We generate A LOT of rubbish after each meal. 看了很令人心酸,teenagers nowadays take things for granted, they throw away food that they dislike, that they are unable to finish.难道他们不知道浪费食物会遭天谴吗?Moreover, they are also harming and polluting the environment with their irresponsible acts.Haix all these just for one event,for that few minutes.Is it worth it?

I really hope that most of the participants learnt some values, gained some impt experiences through the event then it would make all those wasteful acts "more worth it". However, i still feel that its wrong to spend so much resources and money for that few minutes of performance and glory.Its really not environmental friendly.....

Its 2.25am now i better go to sleep. I will post more thoughts of this event within the next few days.

Gd nite guys :D

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

行万里路,胜读万卷书

刚从中国上海回来,又是一次难忘的旅途,所得到人生经验,能终身受用。时光匆匆,还记得两个星期前还在Changi Airport terminal 3 笑 desmond 走路没长眼睛撞上一排椅子,但很快又和大家在terminal 2 告别了。我们都非常舍不得离开那美丽的现代化城市,因为在这两个星期的日子里我们共享天伦之乐。上海就像我们的天堂一样,要什么有什么,它能满足我们的食欲,购物欲,在那里花钱太值得了,因为在中国什么东西都很便宜。更令这次的旅程变得更难忘的是能够和几个要好的朋友共同在酒店里观看世界杯。这是多么难得的机会呀!能在上海无忧无虑,做自己爱做的事情,享受着一段日子的清静,自由是我一直以来都渴望的,等待着的。

从去年年底的北京西安之旅,至6月8日离开前往上海,我经过170天漫长的等待,终于又尝到农夫山泉水了。当我和desmond又再一次尝到农夫山泉水,心情都非常激动。你们不要误会,并不是因为它真的像 holy water 才使我们一直想着它。 这水贵在于它藏着我们在中国的所有回忆,它陪伴着我们与我们一起渡过在中国的日子。它代表着我和desmond 深厚的友谊,包含着很深的意义。因此一提起农夫山泉水,我们就能回想起在中国所有难忘的经历。

这次的团队很大,有中三,中四,和高一同学再加上四位老师,共五十多个人。但整体来说,大家都很安分守己,很配合老师,也没给老师太大的麻烦因此整个旅程非常顺利,没出什么大乱子。新加入我们的中三同学给我的印象很不错,我觉得他们也是一群非常优秀的学生,可惜我们并没有多少交流,谈话的机会。希望在接下来的日子里能够有更多机会与他们接触,认识他们,多结交几个朋友 ;)

这次在复旦附中和复旦大学上课也有不同的感受。讲座的课题都非常有趣,但我们都认为有些讲师可能因为年轻,缺乏教学经验,授课方式有些沉闷。因此到头来都无法吸引我们的注意力,很多人到最后都在发呆,发白日梦,或做些其它的事情。相比起来,去年的讲座,讲师都比较好,因为给我们讲课的都是大学教授,而那些教授都知识渊博,很幽默,很真诚,也常以很特别的方式来授课,使几个小时的课程不会很沉闷。不过复旦的校园还是给我们留下了不错的印象,跟其它中国大学校园风格差不多,它的校区古色古香,环境优美,建筑风格也很独特。我们上课的光华楼更是复旦的标志性建筑物。我从来没见过一所大学有那么高的建筑,我在电梯里看,光滑楼至少有三十多层楼高! 我们还参观了复旦大学的新校区,目前只完成了第一期的工程,但已经花了6亿多人民币建设,这是多么庞大的一笔数目。当然他们的钱并没有白费,新校区非常美丽迷人,很多参观后的学生都想到复旦留学。他们把校区绿化,建筑的风格也都很独特,让人有一种踏入 cambridge 的感觉。嗨立化呢?花了那么多钱却建了个令很多人不满意的校园,整天漏水,颜色也不好看,问题一大堆。

这次的上海之旅让我感到最满意的就是我融入了上海的民间生活,我每天都有和上海的百姓交流,接触。我也在这个过程中有很深的体会。我们差不多每天都到复旦大学的步行街吃饭,买东西,尝遍那儿的美食。多亏有杨老师这个地头蛇带我们到处吃好的,给我们介绍好lobang,帮我们杀价。你们有没有听过烧的sushi?在这次的旅途之前我可没听说过,但这次我竟然吃到这种sushi。 它是一大条的够我们吃一顿,里头的米饭量大约等于一碗饭,而里头包的东西任你选择。buffet style。还有放tatar sauce 和 一点辣椒。吃起来美味可口,我们几个中四的同学一连吃了7天都不厌。它的价格少过10rmb,又省时,能让我们边购物边吃,实在方便。

to be continued...

today started to go back sch for dance le. i step down as vice president le suddenly feel much relaxed, feel much more comfortable. i guess i am more suited to work without pressure, as an assistant to offer some ideas and solutions.
today played my yamaha piano for the last time. tmr my new german piano will be arriving at my house in the morning but i have cca tmr as well so i guess i can only play it in the evening. i am quite excited to seeing it. the touch and sound quality is much better than my current piano ;)

gtg its 10 mins past 12am! bye ppl....

Saturday, May 29, 2010

screwed up world

came back from medan last night.
played the piano for half a day today....i wanted to dedicate the song endless love to my family, my friends, and my buddies in Medan. Though most of them may not be able to hear it, i just hoped they could feel how appreciative i was towards them.
The medan was very meaningful. Made many new friends, had lots of exciting and fun experiences. I thoroughly enjoyed it. 我真的开阔视野了。Through the trip we really learn to appreciate the people and things around us. We discovered how fortunate we were in Singapore, we manage to experience how life is like in some of the poorest districts in Indonesia.
I felt that the trip was very well organised, i really want to thank the teachers Mr liu, Mr Imran, Mr Oh, Mr Yeo, Ms Choo, and Ms Lee. They made the trip very enjoyable and special for us. I love how the reflections were carried out for us. It really benefited us helping us to learn a lot of things.
I also would like to thank the Singapore Piaget Academy students who 招待 us. They were very very friendly, helpful and respectful. Throughout the journeys they were our translators helping us to solve the problem with our language barrier. I really admire them, they can speak malay, english, chinese and hokkien VERY fluently. DAM PRO right? Habert, Andrew, Kenny, Nadia, Nathania, Sherlyn, Griselda, THANKS for helping us and spending so much time with us these few days. Cya in Singapore!
During this trip the cip experience really left a deep impression in me. The environment the orphans were living in, the way they treasured what they get ( clappers from big walk which we throw away.), the way the treasured pepsi like holy water. I was really touched and shameful. All these just left me with a lot of things to ponder with.
This trip to medan, i witness the low standard of living that many indonesians are experiencing. The frequent blackouts at our resort, the dirty streets of Medan that are covered with litter, the polluted rivers, our bus that was polluting the air with the huge amount of carbon monoxide it was excreting, and the list goes on.
I also visited a museum containing more than a thousand species of animals. Take note not living animals ah all dead ones. Though the exhibits look real, only the skins are real. The skins are taken from dead animals or those killed by hunters. I saw the many pictures of the owner of the museum with the dead bodies of many animals that were killed by him. I do not know why he find killing them such a glory. In fact i find it pathetic that nowadays we have to go to the museum to look at all these non-living animal exhibits as the number of living animal species in the world is decreasing fast due to the non-stop killing of wild life by humans.
Then in the newspapers i read back in singapore, the news i watched on tv, reports of oil spills, explosions, volcano erruptions, floods, kids under age of 3 smoking, the non-stop killing of whales happening in Japan. AND THE LIST GOES ON TOO!
I really feel that the world is seriously screwed up now. If we do not start to seriously protect wild life, protect our environment, we will get our retribution and that is end of the world!
really want to discuss more issues and reveal more of my thoughts but its late now i gtg le so i shall end my post here gd nitez and HAPPY BIRTHDAY to myself! :D
once again thanks to all for the happy memories you all gave me in medan i miss you guys :D:D

Saturday, May 22, 2010

hols are here but i am not happy at all

i could not control my feelings at parent-teacher meeting today....i just let my tears flow in front of huanglaoshi and my mum.....
leaving for medan tmr morning. will be back on the 28th. haix becos of this trip i have to miss 三步一拜. i did not expect to miss it. How i know the trip suddenly push back one day. Or else i surely go for the event. Its once a year and its so meaningful. For the past few years i have been attending it and i really enjoy the experience.
sch hols have arrive but don noe y i am not excited at all. Maybe is the thought of not being able to see her for almost a month.....
Have to work hard on my maths and physics during the hols le cannot disappoint my parents and teachers anymore. I wish everyone an enjoyable and fruitful holiday. Hope that medan no earthquake no volcano erruption for nxt 7 days ;) cya guys.....

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Exercise the whole day

Today was our school's YOG carnival. 4B did very well got first for frisbee competition, second for relay run and recieved an excellence award. I played the first frisbee match which we lost and took part in the relay run. I sprint through out the 450m and to me, its the most exhausting 450m i have ever run before.
In the afternoon, yingfeng was quite slack, we did not even dance yingfeng just revised mass display moves. After we were dismissed at around 3pm, me, junming, vincent, ruyan and shaun went to play basketball till 5. Then, zixin and peiyao joined us, we went mama shop ate some food and chitchat. After that we played soccer with a ball we found lying around till 6.30. We suspect is the ball used for water soccer today. Sianzz mentioning water soccer, i did not have the chance to play it today, what a waste i can see that its very fun and would be a great experience since its the first time i heard of water soccer as a football fan.
Haha today dismissed at 12.30 but went home at 6.30. Regardless of the time, regardless of how tired i feel now, i feel that today was quite fun, especially hanging out with the dance guys, bonding with them really feels shiok. We treat each other with respect, we care for one another, we are true towards each other. This is really the type of behaviour, type of culture i want to spread to everyone.
Gotta go to do hw le nitez ppl.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

self examination

Few days ago i watched a video on Arsenal's board meeting with some of their most loyal supporters. In the video, arsenal's chief executive Ivan Gazidis discussed and shared about the major issues that arsenal faced in the 2009/2010 season. This session was conducted after Arsene Wenger and the board evaluated arsenal's season as a whole, and went through a period of self examination to see what went right and what went wrong.

After watching the video, i feel that there is a need for myself to go through a period of self examination as well, given that the first semester is coming to an end and almost half a year has past.

This half a year hasn't been really a good one for me. I went through ups and downs (more downs obviously) , my grades are not satisfying, this half a year in dance was also quite difficult, and there are lots of small things which i feel that could have been done better. There are many issues, many events, many things in my head that cause me to be distracted from my studies and at the same time, have a huge amount of frustration inside me. At many occasions, i lack the self belief, the motivation, the perserverance, the sharpness and concentration to do things.
I am also living a very unhealthy life, sleeping late, waking up early. The black circles i have around my eyes really make me hate looking into the mirror. The lack of sleep is also affecting my memory. I can feel the difficulty in remembering things now, i tend to forget a lot of things very easily.

I really feel that this half a year has changed me a lot. I am not the Jun Weng i used to be. The Jun Weng that has a lot of self belief, the Jun Weng that has high self esteem, the Jun Weng that is clear of what he's doing. For example, in the past few years, coming to my niche areas like chinese, history, china studies or even maths i would be very sure of myself, i would be very confident. However this year, after suffering a few setbacks i realise that i am beginning to doubt my capabilities, i begin to doubt my answers. No matter what i do, i feel the need to double check. Especially when doing maths and physics, i am struggling to keep up with the pace of the others.

Perhaps, this year, i moved house, i moved to a new school site, i moved to an unfamiliar environment. Now, i live further from my relatives, my close primary school friends, my tuition mates and so on. All this factors may have contributed to my failure for this half a year but to me, all this are nothing but excuses. For me, in life, in order to be successful, we really must be able to face all sorts of situations, environments and challenges.

Therefore i really feel the need to improve, to pull myself out of the bad state i am in. Due to my hectic life i really need to manage my time better so that i won't have to always burn midnight oil. I need to be mentally stronger when facing challenges. I also need to put in more effort on Maths and physics though most of the time i really don see the point in learning them.

Arsenal's policies are aiming for long term success, to ensure that the club can be successful for the next 5years, 10 years or even 20 years. Their self sustainable model of running the club ensures that Arsenal will be financially stable for years to come. Though we cannot see the fruits of their labour yet but i am sure that they are on the right path.

The same theory works for us. We should work for the future, think further, look further. In chinese we call it 高瞻远瞩。I feel that many of us just focus on the result at present, without considering about what may happen in future. We should focus on our aims and targets and not be too affected by the results of other things. That's why i really admire Desmond's drama teacher. He wasn't really concern about his results in school. He drop out of school to focus on his dreams and aims, that's why he is successful now.

For me, i am going to learn from Arsenal's policy to focus on long term success. So long as i tried my best, even if i do not do well in physics and maths i am not going to brood over it for long. Instead i am going to focus on my niche areas, my interests and my long term targets.

I guess there are also positives to take from the past six months. I feel that i am more mature compared to last year after going through so much. I also benefited a lot from OBS-learnt a lot of life skills that I cannot be exposed to in school, and discover some of my strengths. I also managed to find out a lot of my weaknesses as a leader of dance society and lastly i managed to make myself love piano and in fact use it to distress.
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Last thurs watched iron man 2. The graphics and high tech stuff were quite impressive however i felt that overall it still lose out to IP MAN 2. The storyline was quite disappointing.

Friday, cca was much better, i felt that our mass dance did improved though it is still far from sulaoshi's expectations. We know there is still much room for improvement, hope the dancers will continue to work hard and prove that they are capable of producing results.

Yesterday was a close shave for me. On my way back from JP i left my wallet on 240 bus. My ez link card, ic, 40 plus bucks and many other cards were inside the wallet. Luckily i went to the bus stop opposite my house to wait for the 240 to return since i regconize the driver. After waiting for half an hour the bus returned and a 好心人士 had found my wallet and passed it to the driver. 谢天谢地,我失而复得. Really grateful to the person that found my wallet.......He/She saved my parents and I a lot of trouble. Or else i would have to go to the police station to report loss, go to bus interchange report loss and spend a few hundred bucks to get a new ic, new ezlink card bla bla bla.......

Today spent most of the time practising piano.....gotta go do some work le nitez :D:D

Tmr getting back physics result during first period....getting back translation result during last period.......GG..... T.T










you will always be in my heart............

Friday, May 7, 2010

5月7日将成为我心上永久的一道疤痕

魔鬼星期过去了,但它将给我留下永久的阴影。照讲,这个星期我熬过去了,我应该感到轻松,感到自豪但老天爷似乎不肯给我喘息的机会。他今天又给了我致命的打击。不知这场恶梦要延续到什么时候?

我现在真的很想哭,但不知为什么我就是哭不出来.....我只能感觉到剧烈的疼痛,犹如被万箭穿心一样。今天,上完舞蹈课我收到小学同学的 sms 写道:英语真恐怖。Yes 爷死,Nice 奶死,Bus 爸死,Must 妈死,Girls 哥死, This 弟死,Just 姐死, Miss 妹死,Niece 你死,Thus他死,Was 我死, Chest 全死,Guess 该死,Those都死,Quest快死,你说恐怖不恐怖。你说你该不该死?

这封短讯他寄来的还真是时候,我真的觉得自己的确该死。 这几天为了应付考试我都开夜车到半夜三更半夜才睡觉,睡眠不足5个小时。为此,母亲这几天一直都在为我担心,为我操心。我饿的时候,她准备东西给我吃,我渴的时候,她拿水给我喝。看我那么憔悴,看我的精神一天比一天差,她晚上也不能安心地休息,不断地起来查看我睡觉了没有。前天看她为我担心的样子我非常痛心,等她离开我房间后,我情不自禁地流下了几滴眼泪。我真的觉得自己很不孝,都已经长大了,还要父母为我操心。

现在,我应该躺在床上休息的,但我一闭上眼睛,今天下午发生的事情就会历历在目, 我会想着苏老师说的话, 听到Jack的冷笑....他们的反应我完全理解,这也是为什么我感到很内疚,充满歉意。我内心的愧疚感已经缠住我好几个月了,使我感觉到自己背着沉重的抱负,一直处在压抑的状态中,无法脱离苦海。

我努力着,尝试着独自承受这一切。我悲痛欲绝,但我在家人面前掩饰自己内心的感受,因为我不想让他们为我担心。因此我只能通过这个途径,来解压,来发出痛苦的呐喊。

无奈,无奈,我感到彻底的绝望.........

Saturday, May 1, 2010

GO AND WATCH IP MAN 2!!!

As usual the past week was tough. Brooding over dance matters and my studies. I would like to thank my mother, desmond, teachers my piano and those who were always there to encourage me and inspire me. If not for you all, i really don know how to cope.

Surprisingly, i have been practising piano daily. Today i downloaded more than ten piano sheets, comprising of songs like viva la vida, hey there delilah, apologise and so on. damn excited, i watched some people play the songs on youtube and they sound really nice!! I have never loved playing the piano so much haha. But currently a few keys on my piano requires tuning cos when i pedal some of them cannot be heard clearly.....

Today, i watched a program on cctv4 introducing the shanghai world expo...wow CHINA and the participants have done a great job in preparing the world expo. The exhibits are really cool and special, i cannot wait to go to shanghai and see the exhibits. I am sure i will gain lot from visiting the expo.

In the afternoon i went to westmall with Baiqi, Xiangrong, xianghong and weihan to watch 叶问2. Its the best movie i have watched this year so far. The storyline, the action moves were all fantastic. I can fully understand why sulaoshi recommended us to watch the movie. Its so inspiring. I really cannot wait to pick up wushu again! 我很喜欢甄子丹 演的武打片,他身手敏捷,演得很出色,再加上经验丰富的洪金宝和黄晓明,释小龙等出演,整部戏很有看头,不乏搞笑片断和武打场面。叶问不愧是一代宗师,他为华人争回了一口气,赢回荣耀,弘扬中国武术。我很喜欢戏里的一句台词,就是叶问对那高傲自大的洋人拳手说:中国人习惯用香,不仅是为了计时,更重要的是体现中国人的谦逊。这句话展现出中华文化的精髓,体现了华人所追求的高尚品德,和自身修养。

After the show, went to eat supper with them and chit chat. I really enjoy hanging out with them, though i am a few years younger than them, the youngest out of the group, but chatting with them is really very relaxing, we all love 武术, since they are older, they share a lot of their study experiences, work experiences with me, I gain a lot from chatting with them. i cannot wait to meet them again. Haha to watch jackie chan's new film karate boy and help xianghong move house ;)

haix...after slacking today, i must prepare myself ahead for the toughest week of the term. i have four tests in three days nxt week EL, HISTORY,C LIT and worse of all PHYSICS! I am really short of confidence and motivation to do well for the tests but no choice i still have to face them bravely...13th may please faster arrive!!! I rather spend my valuable time on my area of interests....there are so many big events happening out there in the world why am i spending so much valuable time in school?

Nvm...time to get on with my work nitez :D


嗨..下个星期无法见到你...对你有无私的牵挂.....

Monday, April 26, 2010

meaningless sch day...

lol today i had THREE HOURS OF FREE PERIOD in sch cos classmates had chem common test and a chem period not long ltr....actually shld skip sch today. Had to wake up so early for nth. Luckily i made use of the three hrs to complete some work and watch videos on my iphone.

For the past few days i have been practising piano like siao haha nvr love playing piano so much for a long time. I guess the reason is becos i am practising the piano version of 美丽的神话 or in el called endless love. The tune is so beautiful especially when i play it on the piano with the pedal, its vry grand and it makes me feel like i am expressing all my emotions, all my unhappiness. So in a way it helps a lot in helping me to distress :D


不要过分憧憬爱情的美,不要过分夸大失恋的悲。

Friday, April 23, 2010

Frustrated, I am a failed ldr...

haix...迟早被这帮让我又爱又恨的朋友给气死.....
I am REALLY FRUSTRATED by them......they are not setting a good example for the juniors. They create noise, havoc during practice, no matter how much i try to keep them quiet, my words to them seem to turn to deaf ears.....though wanglaoshi doesn't seem to be bothered by them, but i can and feel that he's vry fed up just that he sort of give up on them le and rather concentrate on those who are keen to learn.
Why can't they be more understanding? As my friend, can't they be more understanding? Why a re they so selfish?They are putting me in a difficult position. I hate to scold them in front of all the dancers, as their friend i really don like to punish them. However, as a cca ldr, i have to fufill my responsibilities....haix 左右为难,进退维谷。我夹在友情和责任感之间,既不想破坏与他们之间的友情,又不想使整个团的素质每况愈下。昨天俊凯跟我讲,团的纪律现在很差,素质也一直在掉,团员也不团结。他越讲我越觉得自己是千古罪人......我觉得是我把这个团带垮的....虽然不是我在搞破坏,但我身为cca ldr 没有做好自己的工作,使这个团越来越散,我愧对所有的老师们, 我愧对所有的师兄师姐,我愧对所有对我有很高期望的朋友..........
我骂也骂过了,罚也罚过了,我实在想不出什么法子来解决这个问题。每当cca day 来临时我都很怕,我都会感到很压抑。因为我感觉自己又得一个人面对着整个团,面对着老师们的期望。我又担心自己达不到他们的要求,担心自己会做错什么。我已经被批评很多次了,ineffective, powerless, missing link....我感觉这些口语每天都在我的耳边响起,痛击我的玻璃心,使我产生很大的恐惧感和愧疚感。
更可怕的是,我感觉自己像个孤家寡人,all my level guys, committee members are not motivated to contribute, to do their part. 他们的心已经不在这个团了。一个没有手下,没有士兵的将领如何打胜仗?如何确保团在正确的轨道上发展?连我的好友李恒都变得爱理不理,越来越爱slack. 这对我一点帮助都没有,只是增加我的恐惧感。最让我觉得很冤枉的是,因为你们不负责任的行为,我得背这个黑锅,成为千古罪人,被泼一头污水,被骂无能!
我已经在尽一切努力来避免舞蹈团垮下去,但我不知道自己还能支撑多久。这几日我发现铅笔盒里的所有笔都开始没有笔墨了,pen no ink, highlighter all no ink。这是不是在象征着,我身体所剩的那一点微薄的力量也即将消耗殆尽呢?



最让我痛心的是,每当cca来临时,我都得把自己最脆弱,最软弱的一面展示在你面前,这更加打击我的自信心,让我觉得自己没希望了.......


Tuesday, April 20, 2010

A day with lots of drama.....

Nth much happened yesterday. started my routine to jog to sch and jog home with sch bags. yangyi joined me and it was pretty much within our capability. I am damn satisfied haha and it makes gd training ;) bicult lesson finish watching 一个都不能少 though watched it when i was in primary sch le but it still leaves a deep impression in me. it makes me feel really fortunate that i have a much better learning environment. It also causes me to have the urge to go over to help them out. I cannot bear to see the kids so helpless. Its also really sad that most in the society is just blinded by money, 而且很现实, they already 不顾什么情义,earning money is their main priority. Translation, our teacher told us we did badly for the test....haix wad can i say its expected la since we had so little time and had to write so much........

Today, ran 2.4, get 10.31....haix wanted to break my highest record of 10.08 and get below 10min but no choice this few days train too much le lack the energy to do that. We got back physics test and maths test today. Me, liheng, desmond 三个桃园结义的好兄弟screwed both test up. i passed physics and failed maths....and liheng 爆冷 failed both. pengfei 爆冷 get highest in class haha. Haix liheng may be still smilling and joking around abt his grades but i noe 他的心在流血. 我们何尝不是呢?我最近也受到很多打击, 因此我并没有特别的伤心,习以为常了。So what if I did not do well in these two tests. Like what wenger says what is fated is fated. The result is there and there is nth we can do abt it, we have to face it bravely. What we have to do is to fight on and aim to do well in the nxt challenge. Haix now what we are concerned abt is we cannot concentrate on our studies. As for the reason we shall keep it for ourselves..........

今天只能看到你的背影.....连你的脸老天爷也不让我看一眼......

Sunday, April 18, 2010

disgusted by arsenal......

arsenal 2 wigan 3
i don think anyone will believe it. At the 81st min arsenal was winning but in the space of around 10min arsenal conceded THREE TIMES thanks to some jokers in the defence and fabianski...WHY DID WENGER NOT BRING ON VAN PERSIE EARLIER ON? ONLY AFTER CONCEDING 3 GOALS THEN BRING HIM ON WHICH IS OBVIOUSLY 亡羊补牢........
WE NEED DEFENSIVE REINFORCEMENTS AND A NEW GOAL KEEPER. wenger pls bring chamakh to arsenal he is a great striker and joehart who is the best goal keeper this season.

I was quite slack today, did not do anything much.....morning wake up watch another 5 episodes of 李小龙 then had lunch and afternoon went occ for gym....then at nite to watch this terrifying game which made me wanna puke....pls... 老天爷 pls protect arsenal players nxt season from anymore injuries we the supporters cannot take anymore disappointments we must buy some players.....

我能见到你的日子会越来越少.......

Saturday, April 17, 2010

inspired by 李小龙.........

today, woke up at 7 to go for flag day....me liheng louis, kaka and shijie did the flag day together. From boon lay we went to outram park, then start doing to china town. At Chinatown for sometime then a lot ppl come "抢生意”。so we 换地盘 go harborfront centre there do. At harborfront centre the location i did my flag day jus at the mrt entrance also got one old lady in her late fifties or sixties(i guess) doing flag day also for 同济医院。i really 很敬佩她,一把年纪了还不忘回馈社会,做慈善帮助那些有需要的人。俊颖向你敬礼了!Through my flag day experience I feel that Singaporeans 不够热情,不够善心. Many ppl today see us standing there 用一种很真诚的眼神恳请他们捐款, 但他们却当我们是透明的,不然就是用一种很冷漠的眼神看着我们。他们难道是冷血动物吗?看到一个上了年纪的老太太亲自出马恳请他们捐钱,他们却一点也不动心,理都不理她,他们的良心何在?i really have run out of adjectives to describe the society we are living in now......Then went liheng's stall eat lunch b4 going back to sch. Thank you liheng for the lunch !

After going back to sch then me louis liheng go gym and pool at centris :) haha so convenient, centris is so near our sch great location for us to exercise and relax. yesterday i think i lost most of the pool matches wif louis haha but today i manage to win 3 out of 6 pool matches with him ;) got improvement lol.

Then i came home and began on a new dvd show. It has been around 2 months since i last watched a dvd series. The last dvd series i watched was 神话 now i am starting on 李小龙传奇。看了五集之后,我已经是对他佩服得五体投地。我很喜欢他的性格。倔强,勇敢,好胜,拥有超人的毅力,痛恨被侮辱的感觉,会不顾一切去追求自己的理想。他这种精神,试问当今世界上有多少人能匹敌?他能为武术放弃学业,放弃爱情,我呢?这让我联系到我自己?我在想若我在他的处境下会做出怎样的决定?我能像他一样为理想放弃爱情吗?现在的我肯定不能,因为我不像李小龙那么倔强。我的心太软,太容易被打动,太容易被说服。不知我这种性格将来对我是有益处还是有害处?李小龙的毅力也超乎常人,他刚加入叶问的门下时,每天听师傅的,跑十公里从家里跑去武馆训练,再从武馆跑回家。在武馆里只练基本功,扎马步,举棍,练脚力和手力。晚上,他自己又在家里刻苦练习,到半夜三更,凌晨三点还在练拳。他每天的生活习惯就大概是这样。Do we have such consistency in our life?
和李小龙相比,我觉得我所受的苦不算什么。李小龙所展示的这种毅力让我深受启发,我决定再接再厉,以他为楷模!


一个人有苦说不出,有爱不能说太痛苦了,什么都要憋在心里面,迟早憋疯.........

Friday, April 16, 2010

A day with mixed emotions.......

Today was quite a meaningful day. Nothing much happened during lessons since i had two free periods today becos mr suria was sick. i think our physics this time sure gg. How are we gonna finish the syllabus if we keep missing lessons. Then the last two weeks he is gonna chiong through the chapters and we will be left on our own to face the consequences and that is to fail......HOW ARE WE GOING TO DIGEST ALL THE CONTENT IN SUCH A SHORT PERIOD? is like this week teach finish nxt week test......i mainly refering to physics. Thats seriously not the way to learn, learning shld folo our pace, we shld learn for understanding not for test. Now i feel that we are being forced to follow the fast pace of the sch's curriculum and many students are having difficulties catching up.....as a result many ppl want to drop physics many ppl hate physics. This already prove that the system has failed.
    Cca was cancelled today cos wang lao shi and su lao shi all nvr come. 4A, 4B, 4C, 4D and 4E were SUPPOSED to move our tables and chairs to the hall and ARRANGE them according to the order required by the school for tmr's HSK exam. However some classes nvr even come down some came down with their tables and chairs and left. It ended up being more than half of 4B staying back till almost 4 to arrange and wipe around 1000 over tables and chairs in the hall. WHAT A GREAT ACHIEVEMENT!! i could not believe with my own eyes that we managed to arrange so many tables and chairs haha it was a wonderful experience and also a great physical training session. Instead of having dance today i became a mover lol....However what made me very happy was that through this experience our class was more bonded! we showed great class spirit and determination to finish arranging so many tables and chairs. Though we are not rewarded in anyway but i am already very thankful that our class is much more bonded :D anw i also believe in 吃亏是福,做善事不求任何回报 seeing the OS ppl without any help, being able to offer them some assistance is smth i am vry willing to do and i also get to exercise...何乐而不为?rather than keep grumbling and 怨天尤人 y not we think it in a positive way? Haha after that 林老师came to check out the hall and see us put in so much effort she was vry happy 答应表扬我们! 4B finally done something that recieve the praise of our teachers!! :D:D 我超有满足感!4B FTW!!!!
After i left sch i went back home to get change and then went to gym and play pool with louis at The Centris above JP. i think the facilities there quite gd la furnishing also not bad. If not for the price so ex my parents would have bought a unit there......After going to gym and dinner and food court then i arrive back at home sweet home.....
This two days keep asking zimin to send me songs and she is really gd in it haha THANK YOU SO MUCH ZIMIN! i can now get to listen to the songs to 抒发感情.....仙剑 songs rocks man!
Today is Mr Lim's last day in RV! Thanks Mr Lim for being so patient and understanding! You have been a great teacher. without much training you taught us like you have had yrs of experience in teaching i really admire your talent in teaching haha. I will remember what you said to us during the las lesson. MUS FIND OUR NICHE AREA!! haha the gd news is that i have found mine :D Wish you all the best in NS don forget to come back and visit us! All the best we will miss you a lot!
Tmr still need wake up early go for 同济医院 flag day. I enjoy flag days a lot get to 观察新加坡人的举止行为看看他们有多热心 and also get to exercise :)
今天当我看到你和他一起离开学校,我的心碎了........我只有不停地借运动和听歌来抒发我心中的不愉快.....

Thursday, April 15, 2010

weng哥‘s first post

Hi ppl. The las time i posted smth on a blog was like few years ago when i created a blog with my best fren Fabian in pri sch. Though that blog was like dead within 1 month, 2 months? lol. Obviously i hope that's not gonna happen to this blog. Since this year onwards much has happen and i discover that i have lots of thoughts in my heart that i would like a platform to voice it out therefore i decided to create this blog and record down as much as possible and at the same time share it with you guys... I am still trying to figure out how to edit my blog...so long nvr use blogger.com le forget how to use....
Had history test today, i think it was pretty screwed. I in the morning then study cos las nite chionging scs and zuowen till 1plus am. I almost could not finish the paper. 40mins to do a source base qn with 4 sources and all so hard to interprete(or maybe my mind wasn working well cos lack if sleep. After the paper had started for 10 plus mins i was still staring blankly at the qn paper. Yueyao and taylin beside me were already writing like siao. The sound of their pen writing on the paper makes me panick haha....end up i manage to chiong in the las thirty min i think mr lim will not be able to read all of our handwriting we were basically scribbling.
During the afternoon had health check...i am shock that i don need to wear spects i felt that my right eye was vry blur and i cannot see very clearly with it. anw nvm no need wear also gd if i ever need to wear spects my parents will "kill" me. LOL
Arsenal
Last night's arsenal match vs tottenham at white hart lane ended in a win for spurs...this means that arsenal have almost no more chance of winning the title with 4 games to go till the end of the season....i absolutely disgusted by that defeat! what was wenger thinking? looking at his team selection i really cannot see how we could have won the game. He left van persie and theo walcott and the bench and played players like bentner, denilson, eboue and the worst of all almunia! we dominated the game with 6o smth percent possession but ended up losing. Though i am a gooner but i have to say that the first tottenham goal was goal of the season material...i really wonder y tottenham always scores unbelieveable goals against us? Another bad news is that Vermaelen got injured last nite suffering from a calf injury which would mean 2-3 weeks out. Haix i thing we have almost all of our world class players out. Arshavin, Fabregas, Gallas, Vermaelen, gibbs, ramsey..the list has nvr been empty.
The positive thing to take from the game would be the return of van persie. He came on in the last 15mins and transform the game. He could have scored a hattrick if not for the spurs keeper Gomes. How i wished he wasn't injured for most of the season...or else arsenal would definitely be top by now.


Thats all from me today...shall update again when i am free..as you all noe my life is vry hectic...lol

看着你,给我一种服下迷魂药的感觉........